If there is one thing I hear consistently from people in the middle of a job search, it is this:

“I know I should be reaching out to my network – I just don’t know what to say.”

And I get it. Reaching out can feel vulnerable, especially when you are not sure how people will respond or whether you are asking too much.

But here is what I want you to know: your network is one of the most powerful tools you have in a job search. And most people are far more willing to help than you might expect.

The key is knowing who to reach out to, what to say, and how to follow up in a way that feels natural and respectful.

Let me walk you through it.

Know Who Is in Your Corner

Not everyone in your network plays the same role – and understanding that distinction can make your outreach much more focused and effective.

I think about the people in your network in two categories: Champions and Allies.

Champions are the people who genuinely want to create opportunities for you. They think about you, advocate for you, and will go out of their way to make an introduction or put in a good word. These are the people who adore you and believe in your potential. You may only have a handful of true Champions, and that is okay. A few strong advocates can open doors you never expected.

Allies are people who are willing to help when you ask. They may not be actively thinking about your job search, but if you reach out with a specific and thoughtful request, they will do what they can. This group is often larger than you realize – former colleagues, professors, mentors, friends of friends, or people you have met at events over the years.

Knowing who falls into each category helps you tailor your outreach and set realistic expectations. Your Champions may hear from you more frequently. Your Allies may get one well-crafted message.

Be Specific About What You Need

One of the most common mistakes people make when reaching out to their network is being too vague.

“Just let me know if you hear of anything” is easy for someone to agree to – and just as easy to forget.

When you are specific, you give people something they can actually act on.

Before you reach out to anyone, ask yourself a few questions:

What kind of role am I looking for? What industry or type of company am I targeting? Is there a specific company I would love to work for that this person might have a connection to? What would a helpful introduction actually look like?

When someone offers to help, be ready with a clear and honest answer. Something like: “I am looking for a project management role in the tech or healthcare space. If you know anyone at a company like that, even just someone I could have a conversation with, that would mean a lot.”

You are not asking them to hire you. You are asking for a connection, a conversation, or a name. That is a much easier ask – and most people will genuinely want to help when you give them a way to do so.

How to Frame the Conversation

Whether you are sending a message on LinkedIn, writing an email, or picking up the phone, the way you frame your outreach matters.

Here are a few simple principles to keep in mind:

Lead with warmth, not urgency. Start by acknowledging the relationship. A quick “I have been thinking about you and wanted to reconnect” goes a long way before you get to the ask.

Be honest and direct. You do not need to bury the reason you are reaching out. People appreciate honesty, and there is nothing shameful about being in a job search.

Make it easy for them. Keep your message short, clear, and specific. Tell them who you are looking to connect with or what you are looking for, so they do not have to guess how to help.

Express genuine gratitude. Whether or not they are able to help, thank them. Relationships matter far beyond a single job search.

You Do Not Get Just One Chance

I think many people hold back from reaching out because they feel like they only have one shot. They worry that if the timing is not right, or if someone cannot help today, the window is closed forever.

That is simply not true.

Relationships can be rekindled. People’s circumstances change. A connection who could not help you three months ago may be in a very different position today. And someone you reach out to now might not have an opportunity for you immediately – but six months from now, they might think of you for something perfect.

Stay in touch. Stay visible. And stay genuine.

Your network is not a transaction. It is a community of people who, when you show up with honesty and care, will often show up for you in return.

Ready to Build Your Strategy?

If you are not sure how to identify your Champions and Allies, what to say in your outreach, or how to follow up without feeling uncomfortable, that is exactly the kind of work I love doing with clients.

Together, we can map out your network, develop your outreach strategy, and make sure you are showing up in your job search with confidence and clarity.

📅 Book a complimentary coaching session